Within a week my whole life changed before my eyes. I was just playing volleyball when I received a call that I was to go back to Singapore in the span of a day. Frantically trying to pack my belongings my mind was not even thinking straight but all I thought of was: “Is this really how I am saying goodbye to friends here that I may never see again?” Next thing I knew I was on an airplane to Singapore. The very moment I arrived it felt too unreal that this virus created so many uncertainties for everyone. Where the whole world is now all at the same level – no more underdeveloped and developed labels, but the unification to try and work together to fight this pandemic.
Waking up today made me reflect on everything. For the past few days, it has been hard to be productive and to be genuinely happy. There are moments where I will keep my laptop and phone in my closet because I hate that all I am doing is staring at technology. There is always a screen between me and the people that I am talking too. The feeling of your freedom being robbed is not great. All the moments lived outside with people that you care, and love is something that technology can not replace. I miss my parents and I will always try to make sure that they are doing alright in Uganda. I cannot wait to simply just have the option to leave my room and roam around my neighborhood without a fear that I may get in trouble for doing so.
Today, I had to tell myself to try again and pick myself up to where I was just a month ago w
hen I was productive and staying strong. It starts with a work-out, and after a nice cold shower, a cup of coffee. With floor to ceiling high windows, the sun embraces me with a nice morning. At the moment I do try to study for my exams, but that will last only for about 4-5 hours. Recently I tried to improve my creativity to take photos of myself, as I loved being a model. Having this outlet allowed me to learn a different skill set of being the person behind the camera and in front of it at the same time. But while all this excitement and productivity last, I really truly do not know how long it will be till I burn out and crave for the physicality of my close friends and my parents.
My hope for myself is to stay strong and just take it day by day. The future is so uncertain, and I know I am definitely not alone in all of this mess.
By Cassandra Png,
Singapore, Singapore.
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