I managed to get myself out of bed a bit earlier than usual today because I have an online class, and frankly I’ve missed one too many to not care anymore. I keep falling in and out of focus during it, my professor’s voice trailing off like white noise. I keep thinking about what I’ll have for breakfast because this is going to be my last proper breakfast before Ramadan. Probably French toast.
Today’s the last day before Ramadan-and a Friday- but it doesn’t feel like it. It feels like just another lockdown day. I’m beginning to worry that Eid will feel like just another lockdown day too. And now I’m beginning to worry that the rest of my days will feel like just another lockdown day™.
On the bright side, I have found ways to amuse myself during this time. So today, like every day, I water my plant Faiza( I read somewhere that plants are the new pets, and pets are the new children). After my class ends I make chai and play a “drinking game” whereby I take a sip every time I see a car drive by on the street from my balcony. My chai starts to get cold so I end the game.
I’ll get back to my book after this. But while I’m here I keep wondering how paradoxical my feelings are about this situation. While I anxiously wait for quarantine to end, I also dread it. I like having these little moments to myself.
By Ayesha Tariq,
Karachi, Pakistan.